Sterling hits the dating scene
After 15 years of marriage, often in tumult, my wife asked me for a divorce a month ago.
Bear with me as I explain why, and
probe our audience for any possible match
referrals, listing what I'm looking for, and what I offer. (On July 10, I removed this link and added a preface statement in the story. I restored the link
from the archives January 3, 2015.)
|The information presented here should be considered hypothetical,
to give you an idea of the nature of the problem we face as a society. Any
relation to actual situations is coincidental.
|Note: On July 10, I removed the links to this page from our news.
After some good input from people I respect, I realized that it is
unreasonable for me to expect to find someone who can match up with me
while I'm still in the lust addict phase. A woman is wired to be loved
exclusively. Even someone who might have professional skills in helping
lust addicts, when put into a relationship, is now in a very different
situation, and would not do well with the violation of fidelity she would
feel when I slip up. So I'm postponing my dating until I get either a
miraculous healing from the addiction (two likely avenues for this
mentioned below), or until I get substantial improvement in my ability to
stay out of lust (which leads to acting out when given play).
Pure Energy Systems News
Those of you who have followed my news for a while will be sad to hear that a
month ago, my wife asked me for a divorce.
It will be hard for me to find someone who comes even close to meeting or
exceeding what a great match she was for me.
You may wonder why I would be so soon to be back in the dating scene. People
usually take a year or so to recover from a divorce. I guess the answer to that
is that our relationship has been on the rocks for many years, so the emotional
adjustments have been made gradually. This isn't a shock.
That said, I must add that she has been a phenomenal support in this quest for exotic free energy solution.
Few women could handle the stress from being so close to insolvency most of the
time as we are on the brink of new breakthroughs that seem to be perpetually
five months from market -- hence the appropriate name: "perpetual".
She has been good to just trust that somehow we'll have the funds to survive.
Indeed, we have managed to stay afloat, though often it feels too close to
drowning. Few people could live so close to the edge like this.
So, why did she ask me for a divorce?
This is hard for me to say, because it doesn't reflect well on me at all.
I've mentioned to you in the past (1|2)
that I have a lust addiction and have been in
a program of recovery. I confessed my addiction to my wife about 9 years ago, when
I came down with type 1 diabetes. [By the way, I've done so well in maintaining
a normal blood sugar level that my doctor suggested I write a book. See http://NormalBloodDiabetic.com
] I took that as a sign that something was way
out of whack for me emotionally, and it was obvious to me that I needed to stop
denying and hiding the reality of my addiction, which I had picked up about
three years prior to that.
The addiction kicked in as a result of my social life being removed from me,
both because of being an excommunicated Mormon in Utah for "apostasy"
(can you say "scarlet letter" treatment to the max?) as well as my wife's not enjoying entertaining guests at our home. I've had a few
opportunities for social mingling, but nothing like what my heart desires. That
void created fertile ground for an addiction to kick in, and lust became the
addiction of choice.
My occasional relapses, to varying degrees, have been very hard on my wife, each
time feeling like complete infidelity and that somehow she doesn't measure up;
when in reality, most of the time it hasn't had much at all to do with any
insufficiency on her part.
This recent relapse, however, was spurred by a critical attitude I was
fostering, being frustrated with her default mode being cranky rather than nice
with the kids and sometimes with me for the past 15 years, when chores needed to be done or other
corrective instruction given. This put me in a vulnerable position when we went
on vacation to an amusement park, drawing from some insurance money we got that was
more than needed to take care of the core issue (had a dishwasher leak that
warped the floor and damaged the drywall in a basement room). I wanted to put
that money toward survival, but she won in her insistence that we use it for
some family time.
A little more than a week prior to that, I had traveled to Vegas to meet with an
entrepreneur from India, and was subjected to several hours of a parade very
immodestly-dressed females in the Venecian. I didn't do too bad, and sought to
keep my focus on my work, rather than the provocative images that surrounded me.
But neither did I do as good as I might have, had I been in a better space with my wife. It would be like taking a frustrated alcoholic into a bar for several
hours, and expecting him not to take a sip.
I bring that up because I found that the dress at the amusement park was just as
immodest as at the Venetian. One out of every 20 females was dressed like a
slut. Four days of being around that was not easy, followed by a morning at the
beach, and I did give in to my desire to lust. Though I was being pretty tricky
about appearing nonchalant about it, she picked up on it; and as I later
confessed to the extent of acting out, she said our marriage was over because I
had crossed a line in acting out that she had warned me not to cross.
One of the reasons I'm being so vulnerable in sharing this publicly is that a
remedy for the addiction is in view, both spiritually and emotionally.
I realize that it may seem that I'm always teasing you with news of up-coming
exotic free energy technologies that never seem to materialize, though they
always seem to be getting closer. I hope that my remedy in my addiction can have
a much more rapid resolution.
On the spiritual side, in the past few months, I've begun reconnecting with
the gospel and church of Jesus Christ, getting back to my roots, from which I've
been taking a Sabbatical for nearly as long as I've been serving as a free
energy reporter and networker. I've also been reconnecting with some of the
friendships that have been dormant for as long, and those have been crucial in
also reconnecting me doctrinally with what I believe. And I've come to see that
Jesus Christ really is a miraculous solution to full spiritual recovery from any
addiction. I'm looking forward to coming before him in full humility, with a
broken heart and contrite spirit, to give him my sins and be cleansed from them
and from the near constant enticings of the addiction.
On the emotional side, on my recent trip to Brazil, three different people told
me about a remedy I've never heard of before, called Ayahuasca [pronounced
"eye yah waska"]. It's a natural remedy from the Amazon that combines
a root and a leaf. What it does is provide DMT and an MAO inhibitor so that the
body can take up this natural chemical that it usually destroys in the gut, that
induces a dream state while you are yet awake.
DMT is created naturally by the body, and is regulated so that it occurs when you
are asleep, not awake. Medicinally, it is a controlled substance, labeled a
"hallucinogen", illegal except in a religious ceremony context, in
most states of the U.S. It tastes awful, and induces vomiting and sometimes diarrhea,
as a "purgative". Originally, it was used to purge from parasites.
It's non-addictive, and non-neurotoxic; though there are recommendations against
it being used simultaneously with certain medications such as stimulants or
relaxers. They also recommend no meat for 24 hours prior to the ceremony.
The ceremony begins at sun-down, and goes to sun-up; and no, there is no
sleeping involved. Between vomiting and being stimulated and reviewing your life
in a dream-like state, sleep is not something that is likely to happen. One
session is not enough. They recommend many sessions over time. The ceremony is
watched over by male and female hosts, usually shaman, who are familiar with the
process, who can lend assistance and support as needed.
Emotionally, it enables you to see the core issues behind your hang-ups, so you
can address them and move on. It also enables you to see the person you really
are -- your mission in life. Combined, these have the effect of curing
depression, addiction, and trauma. The three people I talked to in Brazil each
had addictions that were no longer an issue after the ayahuasca experience. The
craving was removed, because the core issue that created the craving in the
first place was seen and addressed.
At the first New Energy Systems Trust weekly conference call after I returned to
the States, I mentioned this ayahuasca thing, and nearly every one of the guys
on the call was familiar with it, and mostly had positive things to say about
I was thinking I was going to have to wait until a possible subsequent invite to
Brazil to schedule a ceremony down there. Boris Petrovic, the founder of the
Brazilian Tesla Society, who is building an intentional community in a place
called "paradise", with natural crystals ubiquitous everywhere on the
ground; might invite me to speak at a conference he is planning there. He is one
of the guys who told me about Ayahuasca. Fernando Lins, who has been my primary
conduit to the Evolution Energy guys in northern Brazil, also told me about it.
However, it turns out that there are a number of places in the United States
where ceremonies are done -- including in Salt Lake City, just 2 hours north of
me. One is coming up in a few weeks.
One of the primary proponents of Ayahuasca and other such natural remedies in the
United States is former CNN reporter and now alternative media hit, Amber Lyon,
who launched a website, Reset.me, to promote this
understanding and post the interviews she does with various people who have used
these substances with great outcomes, including herself. It cured her of her
post traumatic stress syndrome she picked up when reporting in the third world
and being held at gunpoint, among other things.
I've created a feature page about this at PESWiki,
including some of my favorite video links.
Bottom line is that I'm now in the dating scene, and one of the reasons for my posting this story is that I'm guessing that there are some amazing, available females in our audience who might be interesting in entertaining a relationship with me. I'd love to hear from you. Consider this posting being me taking the initiative. (Please see the listing of attributes I'm looking for
Don't be bashful if you think that if I was interested, I would remember you and contact you. I've met a lot of amazing people in the dozen years of this Free Energy Quest, and for the most part, I've not been keeping a rolodex of names of singles that I'd be interested in pursuing if I ever became available. Furthermore, people's "single" status is a transitory thing; and what may have been the case when I met you back then might not still be the case now. It's not really been a topic of
relevance until now.
Also, there are some of you out there who may know of someone who is single who might be a good match for me. I'd love to be presented with your recommendation. (See the list of attributes I'm looking for
I've been on Match.com for a week as FreeEnergyGuy, and I can tell you that it is going to be very challenging to find someone compatible. I've had a lot of hits: ladies liking my photo or "winking", but usually, when they realize how far outside the box I am, I don't hear from them again. Either that, or the feeling is not mutual on my part, so they don't hear from me.
My profile states clearly where I'm coming from, but I'm guessing that most of the inquiries I'm getting are from gals who either haven't read my profile statement or who haven't yet weighed it. I've also winked at quite a few gals there, but I realize that I'll not be hearing back from most of them. Impedance mismatch.
Maybe there are better matching services that tailor to those in the fringe -- outside the box: lovers of freedom, knowledgeable about the conspiracy to establish a one-world tyranny, spiritual, lovers of health, lovers of pushing the envelope toward a better world, not afraid of implementing a big dream.
Here is some of my profile information that I posted at Match.com
50 year old man | Fountain Green, UT, USA | Seeking
TeslaTech conference in Albuquerque, 2012
Speaking at the International Conference on Free Software in Porto
Alegre, Brazil, 2014
Demoing Tesla Society T-shirts in Porto Alegre, Brazil; 2014. [Both
Fernando, on the right, and Boris, in the middle, told me about
Playing piano in lobby at Global Breakthrough Energy Converence,
2012 in Hilversum Holland
On panel at Global BEM in Boulder, Colorado, Oct. 2013
Group shot. I'm next to the sign.
Parents' 50th [I'm presently hanging out with them.]
Leaf blowing technique with brother in law, Kevn, and brother,
TeslaTech 2006, Salt Lake City
Relationship: Currently Separated
Have kids: Yes, and they live away from home (4)
Want kids: No answer
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: Slender
Height: 5′ 9″
Faith: Christian / LDS; Spiritual but not religious
I seek to help people wake up to their godhood and put on strength and goodness.
Smoke: No Way
Hair: Dark brown
Occupation: Self-Employed / Entrepreneur
I'm a leader in the exotic free energy movement worldwide, helping to find and facilitate the best exotic free energy technologies. Free Energy News and Network, that's me.
Income: [See below]
Languages: English, Japanese
Education: Bachelors degree, 2 years graduate work
In my own words
I believe in the principle of yin/yang. I value the role that the divine feminine will play in the transformation of the planet that is presently under way. I hope to be paired up with one of the movers and shakers in that undertaking. I want to be inspired by my partner's ambitions.
I thrive in stimulating conversation. I enjoy male-female interactions, from caressing to flowers, to dates and just being together. My career lets me work from home.
While finding someone local might be convenient, I'm open to a long-distance relationship eventually resulting in my relocation. I can do what I do from anywhere in the planet, though I would much prefer to be closer to my family in Utah. I will be able to travel to be with them.
Techonology-wise, I see exotic free energy as the next big thing that is going to transform the planet -- power to the people, literally and figuratively. I work very hard at this and appreciate support in this noble endeavor. Eventually, this endeavor is very likely to result in a lot of wealth for a lot of people, including me and my partner -- and eventually leading to a world with no poor among us.
I'm also involved as an activist in promoting other alternative solutions.
It would be nice to find a wonderful woman who would like to partner with me in these great causes, but I'm open to them having a different area of focus. I'm looking for a big dreamer and creator.
Though FE is poised to make a huge splash, it's still in the emerging stages, so my income has been just enough to provide for our needs, for several years; and is likely to stay that way for possibly another year. Humility is a key attribute I seek in my partner -- but also huge ambition: ambition to help humanity in a major way. We might be underdogs now, but our day to shine is coming.
I enjoy travelling quite a bit for work, though I'm not much of a tourist. I think I've been in around 16 countries. My passport is nearly full of stamps.
My partner's appearance is very important to me. I've stayed in pretty good shape all my life, through good diet and exercise.
I'm a strong believer in "His Needs, Her Needs". Great book, great principles. Compatibility has to do with how well we meet our partner's core needs.
You can find a lot out about me online since my work comes up high in any searches about free energy, or free energy news / network. I'm the guy. Hence my username: FreeEnergyGuy
Of course I have my detractors out there who say mean things about me, as to be expected of anyone trying to make a difference. You need to have thick skin if you're going to hang out with me. Such is the nature of pushing the envelope. But the gains in the end will make it all worth while as a better planet emerges.
It's quite a ride we're getting here on this planet. Want a seat next to me?
Camping, Coffee [or substitutes; I don't do coffee] and conversation, Business networking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Playing sports, Political interests, Religion/Spiritual, Volunteering
Sports & exercise
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Aerobics, Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Golf, Dancing, Inline skating, Running, Skiing, Soccer, Swimming, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Yoga, Other types of exercise, VolleyBall
I like birds, cats, dogs, fish, and horses.
Ron Paul supporter; http://FreeEnergyParty.org
Favorite hot spots
Outside-the-box gatherings. Energy and consciousness conferences. Exotic places.
Brigham Young University - Provo, UT
University of Arizona, Tucson
I enjoy pushing the envelope on all things good: healthy, spirituality, politics, energy, education. I don't spend much time watching shows. I love performing musically: piano, baritone; and going to artistic events.
Open to many activities; enjoy most; pretty good at most; excellent at racquetball, though it's been a while. Enjoy games of skill; not chance. Rarely do computer games. Favorite tangible game: "Chairs" where you stack these plastic chairs.
Presently : "His Needs, Her Needs"; and "In the Footsteps of Jesus" about the actor's experience playing that role. I love Nexus magazine. Stay current in alternative media. Want to read "Autobiography of a Yogi".
What I'm Looking For
Height: 4′ 6″ to 5′ 11″ (prefer shorter than me, but not deal-breaker)
Body type: Slender, About average, Athletic and toned (deal-breaker)
Eyes: No Preference
Hair: No Preference
Smoke: Strongly prefer not, or at least trying to quit
Drink: Prefer not, but okay with Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation: No Preference
Income: No Preference
Relationship: No Preference
Have kids: No Preference
Want kids: No Preference
Ethnicity: No Preference
Faith: Anything but Atheist or Agnostic (deal-breaker)
Education: At least some college, preferably more
Here is what I usually say in my first emails to the potential matches at
Match.com: "Looking for someone who loves pushing the envelope as much as I do."
And I will say that my ex-wife fits that description. That's not one of the
things that drove us apart.
As you send potential match suggestions, please include at least one photo. How a female looks is very important to me in compatibility.
Most of you know how pretty my now ex-wife is. (She is also listed at Match.com.)
(We'll update our Facebook status when the divorce is technically finalized,
soon. We have logistical reasons for keeping it that way for now.)
More contact info can be found on my PES
# # #
What You Can Do
- Pray for me, that I might find complete healing from my lust addiction;
and that I might find a wonderful companion.
- See Suggestions for How to Get Involved with the Roll-out of Exotic Free Energy
- Pass this on to your friends and favorite news sources.
- Donate to PES Network
to help us keep this news and directory and networking service going.
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